My beautiful family,broken&shattered….our new journey

The dual diagnosis and fact that it went undiagnosed for so long have taken it’s toll.my blue eyed boy,blonde handsome energetic funny&caring boy have long gone.i miss him.i grieve him.the love I feel has not changed,I adore my son.yet my 30year old child before me is unrecognizable.every personality trait and familiarity have disappeared,replaced by an acutely unwell & medicated boy,stooped over like a man 20years older.his face tells you he has and continues his harrowing journey.its heartbreaking,it eats away at my very essence.soul destroying.a source of constant torment.

Circumstances on our last visit enabled me to get a lot of information about “missing periods of time” when my boy went NC.i am now processing the devastating details a lot of which I will not share with family.it is the cruelest of illnesses,My boy has/is enduring.id do anything and everything to change it for him,his brothers, nan and extended family.to keep him alive he is sectioned and in the best place I have seen him in, up to date.i have hope,I’m realistic but i have hope. I’ll end now as it is extremely painful putting into words and reading our reality. 

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